Are we supposed to know intuitively what our partner is feeling, wanting, thinking? Or are we supposed to tell each other explicitly? Yes, and yes. I’ve recently had interesting conversations with couples about the value of explicit communication versus “tuning in” to each … [Read more...]
Connect to feel better
In the early days of this crisis a friend found this Mark Twain quote chalked on the sidewalk. In these days of heavy burdens, we need to know the secret of lightening our own load by lightening another’s. In stressful situations, the stress we feel is lessened when we … [Read more...]
Mood Management
Losing altitude? I’m noticing that by this week we all seem weary. We’re tired of being good sports, adapting and innovating, sheltering in place, getting basic supplies, and homeschooling. Time to talk about intentional mood management. A friend of mine notes that after … [Read more...]
Different Coping Styles
I was a newly minted psychiatrist in 1989, when the largest earthquake since 1906 struck the Bay Area. The couples I was seeing were having trouble staying connected, and helping each other through the crisis. As I listened it seemed that some of their difficulty had to do with … [Read more...]
Emotional Contagion
Emotions are contagious. And the closer we are to others, the more time we spend with them, the more likely it is that we feel their emotions and are affected by them, sometimes “catching” them. On the one hand, this ability to sense our partner’s emotions forms the basis for … [Read more...]