Each of us holds inside of us a heartfelt longing for an ideal relationship with a life partner. It is one of our most precious dreams. Sometimes we know what it is; sometimes we have even talked openly about it to each other. Often it lives inside of us only partially guessed at.
We often are most aware of this vision when we fall in love or decide to get married. In my work with couples I have often heard the story of them giving up on such a vision as being naïve and unrealistic. They have encountered the demands and difficulties of being in a committed relationship and have decided that real relationships aren’t like their heartfelt hopes that inspired this level of commitment. They look around at others’ relationships and see confirmation of this. How many people do you know that have the relationship you would most like to have?
Having a committed intimate relationship is a lot of very hard work. Too hard to sustain without exhaustion and resentment if what you are aiming for is something acceptable, but something far less than what you really want.
The fact is that in order to do all of the hard work and hanging in there that a committed, intimate relationship requires, we need more than perspiration, we need inspiration. Your vision of what you really want in your relationship provides that inspiration.
The secret to a great relationship is the ability to hold simultaneously the excitement and inspiration of the vision of the ideal and compassionate acceptance of your currant abilities to achieve that.
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