In the early days of this crisis a friend found this Mark Twain quote chalked on the sidewalk. In these days of heavy burdens, we need to know the secret of lightening our own load by lightening another’s. In stressful situations, the stress we feel is lessened when we … [Read more...]
Different Coping Styles
I was a newly minted psychiatrist in 1989, when the largest earthquake since 1906 struck the Bay Area. The couples I was seeing were having trouble staying connected, and helping each other through the crisis. As I listened it seemed that some of their difficulty had to do with … [Read more...]
Emotional Contagion
Emotions are contagious. And the closer we are to others, the more time we spend with them, the more likely it is that we feel their emotions and are affected by them, sometimes “catching” them. On the one hand, this ability to sense our partner’s emotions forms the basis for … [Read more...]
Stanford Continuing Studies Course: Enhanced Dialogue for Couples March 5 & 12, 2016
The quality of a couple’s relationship is often the most important determinant of their sense of well-being and satisfaction in life. It can also be the source of much challenge and frustration. So how do we make our committed relationships a source of pleasure, support, and … [Read more...]
Difficult Conversations: The “Doorbell” Strategy
Difficult conversations epitomize the concept of crisis as a moment of risk as well as opportunity. Much of the quality of relationships is determined by how well we handle difficult conversations. Handled well, they further trust and intimacy; handled poorly, they can damage … [Read more...]