Difficult Conversations: The "Doorbell" Strategy
Difficult conversations epitomize the concept of crisis as a moment of risk as well as opportunity. Much of the quality of relationships is determined by how well we handle difficult conversations. Handled well, they further trust and intimacy; handled poorly, they can damage the relationship.
Repair After Injury
We are not able to dance closely without sometimes stepping on each other’s toes, trampling or loosing track of each other. And attachment research tells us that secure attachments happen in relationships where there is connection, then disruption of connection, followed by repair and reconnection. In this way we learn to trust that when the disruptions happen, as they always do whether in the parent child relationship or in other intimate relationships, reconnection is possible.