APPROACH

I work to build trust and teamwork.

I get to know my clients as quickly and as well as possible in order to discover what will be the most helpful. I aim for transparency so that you understand what we are doing, and why, and are able to see results in each session.

Your relationship is your most important asset. 

Research–and our own experience–tells us that the quality of our relationships is the most important determinant of our happiness, success and satisfaction in life. So how do we keep the love we have or get back the love we’ve lost?

Turning Problems into Learning

Our most important relationships challenge us to grow and develop skills and understandings beyond what we had when we first came together. This learning can be invigorating and enjoyable–but also challenging. Too often couples think that they are having problems because one of them or the relationship itself is flawed. Instead, we need to understand the problems as part of the learning that builds strong, loving bonds. Couples find their relationship in a downward spiral when they are not able to turn the problems into learning. When couples engage with difficulties as competent adult learners, they turn problems into strong, resilient connection.

Aperture Awareness is the application of mindfulness to relationships.

Everything we want with each other– understanding, caring, trust and collaboration–depends on our openness in the moment–our emotional Aperture. Aperture Awareness is our ability to sense that openness. As we develop this ability, we become able to use Aperture as the North Star for steering toward connection that is loving.

Dialogue is mindful conversation that builds trust and collaboration.

Dialogue, described by William Isaacs as “thinking together,” is conversation that is collaborative exploration. The very best relationships and the very best solutions to problems are achieved when partners are able to explore with open hearts and open minds. Dialogue is conversation that goes beyond agree/disagree and who’s right or wrong. In dialogue you discover each other, yourself, new understandings and new solutions.

How I work 

I use a conversational format to teach couples the skills of Aperture Awareness and Dialogue. Couples learn to stay open in hard conversations so that they optimize for more connection with less injury and frustration.  My work features:

  • Building the skills of Aperture Awareness 

  • Mindful attention to interactions,

  • Learning and development,

  • Increasing trust and understanding.

  • Supportive work with each individual’s emotional vulnerabilities.

Other Relationships

My approach is widely applicable to other relationships–colleagues, teams, family and friends. In all relationships openness and our ability to be guided by it simplify complexity and increase success. Using Aperture Awareness we're able to achieve creative collaboration and greater ease as we work and play with each other.